Monday, September 11, 2006

YEAH, SO THOSE 40 SECONDS, NOT IMPORTANT

Football coaches are fucking idiots. I know this because I had a BAC level three times the legal limit yesterday and I could have given the New York Giants a better chance at winning their game against the Indianapolis Colts than the douche bag who currently makes millions coaching the team, Tom Coughlin.

To put it simply Giants fans, the dip-shit in charge cost your team 40 seconds and a possible victory. That’s 40 seconds Eli Manning and company could have used when they marched to midfield at the end of the game; however, were forced to return to the locker room due to the fact Coughlin has the clock management skills of a crack whore.

Pretty important considering the Giants play only 16 games this season. Might come back to hurt when the league starts passing out wild card berths.

At any rate, I do not know what is more disturbing, Coughlin’s complete incompetence or the fact nobody seems to care he cost his team 40 freaking seconds! The announcers, one of whom is in the NFL Hall of Fame, did not mention it; and, surprisingly, there was not a single mention of it online anywhere as I looked around today.

Well, I cannot stand for it. Look, I could care less about the New York Giants and I could even care less about the Indianapolis Colts; however, this clock management atrocity has to stop. I was furious last night. It’s not just the Giants game last night, it happens in almost every game. What’s worse, nobody seems to care. Am I missing something here? Is everybody coaching and covering the NFL a complete moron? Wait, please do not answer that.

Here is what played out last night as the Colts were driving their way down the field, looking to close out the win as the Giants had only one time out remaining:

1st and 10 at NYG 23 (3:01) D.Rhodes right end to NYG 17 for 6 yards (G.Wilson).
Timeout #3 by NYG at 02:43.
2nd and 4 at NYG 17 (2:43) D.Rhodes left tackle to NYG 15 for 2 yards (M.Strahan, A.Pierce).
Two-Minute Warning
3rd and 2 at NYG 15 (2:00) J.Addai right tackle to NYG 15 for no gain (M.Strahan, S.Madison).
Timeout #1 by IND at 01:16.
4th and 2 at NYG 15 (1:16) A.Vinatieri 32 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-J.Snow, Holder-H.Smith.

So let me get this straight, there is a 40-second play clock and the morons in charge of the Giants decided to call their last timeout 43 seconds before the two-minute warning. Fucking brilliant.

Clearly, with 2:43 left on the clock, the Colts would have been forced to run their second down play before the two minute warning. So, if the Giants did not call a timeout it would have been third and two out of the two-minute warning with the Giants having one timeout available.

Instead, by calling the time-out with 2:43 on the clock, the Colts were placed in a dream scenario. With a 40-second play clock the Colts would only have to run one play (the same amount of plays they would have run if the Giants did not take a time out) and then get to burn 40 more seconds off the clock on third down out of the two-minute warning due to the fact Coughlin threw his final time out away.

The resulting scenario was the field goal kick at 1:16 to give the Colts the five-point lead. If the Giants had decided to save their timeout for, I don’t know, a useful moment, New York could have called the time-out immediately after the third down play (around 1:56) as the clock would have stopped again on the change of possession (probably around 1:50).

Instead, New York got the ball back with only 1:12 on the clock, a difference of at least 30 and possibly 35 seconds, pretty important considering Eli Manning was able to get the team to midfield in 60 seconds.

So, job well done, Coughlin, job well done. Fortunately for you, I appear to be the only doofus out there that seems to care about your complete lack of math skills and fucking logic.

Hopefully, with this meager post, at least some will come to learn of your incompetent game-managing ways.

8 Comments:

At 2:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can attest to the BAC because I was there. I also double checked his math because, well, that's what you do once someone crosses the 25 beer barrier. And, because the math area of his brain apparently was unaffected by the 25 jolts of poison he gave it (an anomoly that should be studied further), his concusion is correct.

 
At 9:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I indeed noticed Couglin's clock management ineptitude, and I appreciate him all the more for it. For what it's worth, although his voice is not as high-pitched as Jim Mora's, I believe that Coughlin will be the next coach to give us a "playoffs??!"-type moment in response to a question at a press conference. Random fact: I witnessed the "playoffs?" press conference as an intrepid student reporter, a true life highlight.

 
At 9:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

P.S. Even as a Colts fan, I can admit that the offensive pass interference call was as bogus as the one on Darrell Jackson in the Super Bowl, maybe more so.

 
At 11:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I noticed this while watching the game. What made matters worse, from my recollection, is that they stood around for 4-5 seconds BEFORE calling that last time out. Had they simply called it right after the preceding play, a few seconds earlier, Indy, assuming they were running the ball, would have been forced to run 2 plays before the warning unless they broke a really long, time-consuming run, in which the whole discussion would be moot since they could've just run out the clock.

 
At 12:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Coughlin discussed this on WFAN yesterday (not very well) here:

http://wfan.com/chrismikeaudio/
(first link on the page, about 10:20 into the interview)

Basically siad he wanted to make sure he stopped them on 3rd down, but I think he's got the yardage wrong.

 
At 12:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember wondering wtf they were thinking when i was watching with my dad...ugh

 
At 12:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

NFL coaches are surprisingly terrible at clock management, but Coughlin is definitely one of the worst. I totally agree with you, IT DRIVES ME CRAZY NO ONE EVERY MENTIONS THE INCREDIBLY STUPID USES OF TIMEOUTS AT THE END OF GAMES. I'm a pansy wimp, and I have no idea about serious football strategy, but thanks to Madden, I think I (and most other fans) have a handle on clock management that totally misses the top tier coaches. What's so hard about knowing when to call a TO????

 
At 7:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree that a timeout should not have been called unless they could get the timeout around the 2:48 mark and force them to run two plays. However, 1 reason, Coughlin might've elected to use the timeout is that if you don't call it and you let them hike the ball with 2:05 to play - if they are smart (which they probably aren't) they put the ball in mannings hands and let him pass for the first down. If you're a Giant fan (which I am not)you'd much rather lose the 40 seconds but get a guranteed run stop, rather then let the best qb in the game pick apart your defense and end it by throwing for a first down, cause even if its incomplete the 2 minute warning would stop the clock anyway.

I appreciate the column, but i've seen worse coaching decisions then using the timeout there, try watching a Herm Edwards coach game...(and he pays a guy specifically to manage the clock!)

 

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