FRIDAY NIGHT BASEBALL

Friday night was spent leaving the city of Waco to watch my beloved Kansas City Royals take on the Texas Rangers. The video above, shot in horrific out-of-focus fashion with the new digital camera, features Diane losing, again.

Poor, poor, Diane. Throughout the baseball game, we had a game within a game. Almost everyone was winning every now and then; however, Diane lost. Repeatedly. To the point where I had to do my best Steven Spielberg impression every time her man was up.

The above video was a jackpot for the group. On the second pitch, a long drive to right field by some random Texas Ranger. A home run would have made Diane the big winner of our made-up contest. Instead, it was just a long, dramatic out. And Diane had lost, again.

Now, I fully admit, random viewers will probably just say to themselves "what the heck?!" and move on. But, to those who attended, it was extremely funny; and, therefore, absolutely had to be posted. Funny to the point we were openly mocking her. And, as viewers can tell by the comments made throughout the at bat, openly enjoying her 1988 Baltimore Orioles type-losing streak. To Diane's credit, she kept a smile throughout; however, I am pretty sure she was seething underneath it all.

As for the game itself, the Royals won; however, it probably was not the most entertaining and enjoyable aspect of the evening. That would have to go to spotting individuals such as the guy wearing the shirt with the naked woman on his back (much props to Jenny for spotting the word 'Fish" next to the naked woman, making it much more hysterical) only to be topped by his girlfriend who had some sort of animal living at the top of her hair.

I took a picture, which I will post shortly; but, this thing honestly looked like some exotic gerbil had climbed up on top of her dome and then became one with the hair, extending his bushy tail all the way down her backside. Let's just say this hair was not going to be featured on any Revlon commercials any time soon (does Revlon do hair care?).

Also, the kid who tried to eat his Texas Rangers teddy bear; and, when that failed, proceeded to beat his entire family with it was quite entertaining. Throughout the entire game, this kid and his siblings wanted to leave. They were rewarded for their complaints by moving two rows closer to the action in the eighth inning and being forced to stay the entire game. That was also mildly amusing.

The only qualm with the baseball game was the game atmosphere itself. I am not really sure if it was the Rangers losing streak, the fact the team was losing to the lowly Royals or the marketing wizards of the Rangers; but, Ameriquest Field was dead.

It was a three-hour infomercial. Nothing but advertising readers. I am pretty sure; but, not positive the people playing the music were formerly in charge of the game show "Name That Tune." Each song was a couple of notes and then a quick cut off. No fade. Just loud to quiet in an instant. Poor Snoop Dogg could not get a word in edge wise.

It was all topped off with the slowest country song ever played during "The Birthday Parade." I'm pretty sure two kids fell asleep out of boredom. Some of the people with older birthdays may have died out of boredom; but, I am not real sure.

Anyway, A+ to all those fans who forget to look in the mirror before they head to a baseball game, F to the Texas Rangers marketing staff.

All in all, a good evening. Thanks to Russ for the free tickets, much appreciated.

On a completely different note, as you can all tell, I now have a You Tube account. This is bad news for everyone involved. Including myself.